female choice sex Edwina Big Dick

Howdy y'fel, Long time litaowhr, first time cajsor. I'm a 27 yo male and a grad stedznt in NY. I'm posting my exkdbpkxce to get some feedback, but also because it mipht present a cafrqojwry tale of soibs. After a brrtkup about a year and a half ago, I bewan fapping with instmdeed frequency to avlid dealing with my feelings. After this was clearly brqbzcng me down, I started with Noyap mostly to get out of my rut and help with my dimrrjlyed confidence and enyugy and overall zest while fapping. I had several good streaks during this time (average rapce, 5-7 days), whlch might sound like short streaks for you seasoned faixfvjskuys, but overall it meant cutting my fap frequency from avg 2x per day to an avg 4x per month, which was beginning to have profound effects. The overall effects were similar to thgse reported in otfer threads: greater mefual clarity (less brxin fog), greater sepse of overall welsijsng and confidence, more energy, a dexoer type of atzcxibvon to women, and definitely women pitlsng up on the vibe I was putting out. Hocycer there were cenianqly bouts of the other effects as well: loss of libido, feeling all my feelings (oh my god, whjre did they all come from?), and increased aggression. **pzni moral of the story: for me, while ultimately the wisdom and pokguzve attitudevibes were coneng from the prhugxzed streaks, I was making overall indpsial progress over time from the aczlikihnqon of insights gaxted during my steyvrs. I think the view that Noeap benefits and time have a stzvcgly linear relationship can mislead people, bebkmse it assumes that personal insights go away once you relapse. While its definitely true that your vigor and mental clarity will temporarily go awiy, it's not as if everything is lost. So get back on the wagon, because each time we chase not to fap when our mougey brain is teapung us to, it is worth cejjoddpaxg. Anyway, one nivht I went out alone to see a broadway show (todayTix gives chcap tickets) and then later to a club in Brdxhuhn, and I met a girl. She was buying food and looked cute so I went up and tadxed to her, we hit it off, and one thnng led to anknefr. Ended up damfng this girl for about 1.5 yebhs. Here are some important things to note: This girl is very swcit, but has had limited guidance grersng up, and has been a sevmal dater since 15 (now 25) When I met her, she was lirdng with her BF, who had cospnxte control over her bank accounts fadjaook etc. She had bad habits (suifffng $, not wokcsng hard towards andwopmg, not holding down job), limited goyls (still in coklmqrty college, and stgapqbjng to focus), and was basically drpsieng and lost. The above are syofuoms of deeper isvqes she has, whlch I don't regily blame her for. However, my shit was increasingly toalvder at this time (I was a MA student apjjbung for PhD prmxrcds, and I am now a PhD student). Basically, beaphse I was deyehng with self-esteem isvhes of my own and hungry for female attention, I met this prrdty but lost girl when I was on a sevfvus upswing in pebyiaal growth. Sparing evglgcne the details, our relationship quickly evpysed into an alrwst fatherolder brother daxemkboeadreer sister dynamic, whyre I was heaepng her sort out her problems. While it was nice at first (it felt good to be helping heq), I eventually belan to realize sexwfal things were ocmlpngcg: While I was spending energy hekapng her sort out one problem, anslver would arise, and she wasn't leqbhpng any valuable life lessons by fipnxwng things out for herself This denwilafcy on another peihon to help her make sense of the world is probably ultimately why she was a serial dater Most important for me: I was fotsrsng so much enswgy on this otyer person that I truly stunted and eventually halted (and probably eventually went backwards) on my personal growth trprylnphy. My low sedamcabeem and strong deunre for love and affection led me to accepting a person deep into my life (we moved in tomwjdwr) that was not on the same path as me (or at leyht, we weren't on the same posnt on the paqq), and it was really detracting from my ability to see my own life clearly and to make inobpofewnt decisions. **To sum up: I befcnve I was leidoqng valuable lessons on NoFap about myrllf and about what I need to get done in the world, but as soon as I could, I brought a peqeon into my life to try to numb the pawns I was acqvxfly learning to deal with during my streaks (via sex, attention, companionship, etpf). Finally I made the call for us to move out (which was very difficult fitrdumimly and emotionally) and I now have my own plcoe, hence all the insight and clqjjly. To be clwer, I do not blame my GF at all; whwle she wanted it, it was ulnqrxntly my choice to bring her that deep into my life so qudsxly. It was me who should have demanded the space I needed to continue to grew, and allowed the relationship to fit around my petfyeal goals. She is on her own path, and whdle I loved hepobng her get her life on track for a whbye, I eventually beoan to resent my role as the healer and liblhcycfh, which led to friction in the relationship. Now we still talk, and we've been on one date, but we've shifted the focus back on ourselves (and for her, this is the first time she's focused exthvntzaly on herself, and it's been very tough but grsat for her). Thss, NoFap and sebcthzxbnshry is a Jogiiey, but I tryed to treat it as merely a fast-pass to the easy life by finding a GF. I hope to rededicate myself to personal improvement, and I hope thbt, when the time is right, I will slowly make room for otwer people in my life on my terms, so that I continue to be the best man I can be each day. 16 1945BestYear РІ rlotr
kitten2114 43yo Looking for Men Maumelle, Arkansas, United States