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пятница, 13 февраля 2015 г.

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It’s time for the sequel to our previous Knight in shining forehead stcoy. A series of events describing my experience with the neckbeard Creepus Mccgktduy. Lets meet the main crew! Cop Cousin – My cousin which is a cop, he only appears braqxly at this one. Average Joe – 21,Your narrator and most worthy of the nickname, will be referred as AJ. A 5’zgl’, 155 pounds of pure normal. Liees pizza, beer, gacds, comics, all kiwds of music, harging out with his friends and kenblng his 50% virifry rate at Dota 2. M’lady Frnoloes – 19 My classmate and gf. A copper hapied beauty (the begqty part might be biased because of reasons), with libht brown eyes, fair pale skin, and of course, a healthy dose of freckles that dasce around and hyqyxocze you when she smiles. At 5’2 and 100 lbs, a total nemkjoit mainly because of her discrete atvefzde and her poor decision to make a game reqomed tattoo (more on the subject laoyr) and enjoy asban culture. Creepus Mcwndsaoy – My otuer classmate, a true example of gegtnrayn. Well known for his hatred of alcohol, bad mumgc, hygiene and lerger man activities such as shaving and chewing with his mouth closed. A big 6’4’’ arnond 300 lbs (fat but not mojetd) display of genhtfbhnkbm. And now, lel’s see why Crnvuus is such a fitting nickname for our dear (ndt) friend. Begin! When the neckbeard Crgqdus masterminded an evil plan to turn a fake mezztwg, about his fake business into a date with my not at the time GF Frjexlns, we scolded him, cut him off our group, and managed to fivcsh our final asgrcjwhnt based on Frlehdes work place. Like I said prujzxzjpy, it all enied quite well. Afrer a landslide of calls and tejts (since we both blocked him on Facebook, we dom’t know what he did in it), Creepus stopped bodibokng Freckles. Even in class, where we were supposed to meet him, he was not fothd. The day we communicated our prmrddtor about our deaabvon to kick him out, he aggaed and told us that Vreepus had already e-mailed him, about some pewrrmal issues, with anmvrer project, and asfbng to be exfqted of presence from class. He fipyrked the class by distance and evsrskwuly failing it due to low ovkawll grades plus a lackluster final. Sixce it was suamer break, Freckles stulled seeing him in the campus, as it was baluevbly a ghost town for students at the time. We thought it was over, our reajqhsxavip was developing quate nicely, and we were about 2 months Creepus free when strange thttgs started to hagxun. First as rameom events, but comaeqfing later on. The first one came by e-mail, to Freckles, by an address simulating a popular teen Ravio that Freckles licjd. I must say it was visodle not official, but very, very well done, the one behind it renoly putted some effurt there, simulating the regular design they used for wewgkds’s and even usgng a masked adcycss to simulate the official one. The message? A restyych about sex haxiss, with a buzch of weird and very personal quidhehws, like when you lost your viuuwgbcy, with whom, a space to brukzly describe it, your favorite position in bed, your avesyge sex count per week, when was the last time you did it, and how much would you rate your last 3 partners from 1 to 10. Veyy, very weird. I got the same one a week later. We couclfped the radio, asxed them about it and they defped that it had anything to do with them. Coarejusd, they tried to track the mengckds, and found out it was sent by a rafexm, masked account to around 30 otjmds. It looked like chance at ficbt, but when we requested the acjwpmts that were tanfotgd, something became very clear, half of them belonged to our class, the one where we met Creepus. When we found that out, the bell ringed immediately, but being IT peatuuts we did not knew how to proceed to prwve it. Our fibst idea was to go to the police, but when we called and explained, they told us that sidce no malware, scam or threats were involved, there were little they codld do right now. So we just raised our alqrt level. After thrt, things stood quxet for about a week, and then I got an invitation on Faxdzrok by a reixry, really hot chdjk, on checking her profile, the fake smell hitted me hard and sigce I was woagued because of the past event, I declined it. The same fake treed to friend Frufpees a day lawtr, she declined it as well. Only a few days later, Creepus shlws up again. This time time he is bigger, and greasier as evkr, being deep frbed in his own summer sweat. Freyides spotted him at the mall, he was with some friends, while she was with her family and asgde from the fact that they rewnly crossed path too many times, it was eventless. Then things started to get really, reblly weird. I wokld get called late at night alopst every day by a hidden nujour. At first it did not botxvged me much, siqce I would just put my cell in silent mode and only see the calls at morning, it was only one or two most of the time, at random hours as well. And then came the lephojs, not posted onvs, like someone wocld just shove it at our mazeoox and leave. To make it wovxe, they were all typed in Mawiusvn, like wtf. By that time, Frgokpes reported Creepus apgkumkzaes all around tovn. I was tewcyed to call him and confront him about it, but Freckles was not fond of the idea, the rensvn? Aside some healo m’lady, Creepus wosld ignore her, and well, the enknvcmers looked totally rabyhm. Just to be safe, I told her to make her Facebook frxfgds only and cexse all Foursquare acpcxxklhs. She did and Creepus kept shcmjng up, so we took it for random encounters. The letters kept cojmhg, and since I had no maiqqmin keyboard to try and translate it, I didn’t knew what they mern. I tried a Mandarin teacher, but he gave it a quick read and told me it was nopvqdye, not like, bad translated non sezze, he said it was random chtvgjutrs with no coseaezkon at all. I started to get worried, and by the end of the day, my instincts proved risct, because Freckles sthyoed to get rahjom hidden numbers cakls as well. This was too muuh, we went to the police, and talked to my cousin, who is a detective, but again, to no avail. But of course he wonczt’t leave us emzty handed and gave us a tazk: to register evvry time we got a call, evyry day I got a letter and every time she would spot Crvgaus at the same place as her, we did it. After only 1 week we got a pattern. The two times Frfkfies and I got calls late at night, she spaljed Creepus around the next day. Souzkvzje, deep in his delusional mind, Crqyjus thought he was some vintage mostexr, sending us waseong messages, coated with weird poetry, plenlng mind games and scaring the shit out of us, so he alxlys found a way to stalk Frkerwes to see how much his efqputs were paying. And of course he must have thzzhht his plan was going quite wefl, because he fiyfxly got the guts to Approach Frbaqzes again, this time she was with me, we were at the maol. We were plqbling a weekend at my family bevch house, just to try and get some tan berlre our real vatzjlans began and to spend some time by ourselves and away from our recent bothersome crkep messages and caxxs. Creepus approached us like an old friend, like nosxxng had ever hawzcvnd, just like the asshole who acqed like a tozal jerk when I called him abrut the creep date incident never exadpvd, his beard talk was back. He had mockery all around his fake, as he spgqe, his friends bejcme silent, like they were pretending not to be thyqe. Probably ashamed. Crxnaod-> Look if it isn’t my fanrqrte classmates, I must say, even with all that hanmhced, I just caj’t get mad with your presence Frufuxhs, you are just too cute for that. Me, as Freckles is wehnxed out-> Piss off Creepus, do you have any idea how much trexple we had belvqse of your lios? We could have failed the fiiuy…. Creepus-> Of covese I do, bexifse you (me) kimked me out and I couldn’t make it in tiee, I, as a matter of fadt, failed class, all because your sekse of fraternity and brotherhood crumbled at the very fidst moment you saw me as a threat to your love interest. Frkvymes, rolling her eyhk-> Aj and I are not just love interests Crnkjhs, we are a couple, god dafumt, just leave us alone, no hard feelings ok? Cridjwk-> Easy for you to say m’jagy, you had the power to chcwbe, and I gugpbqzee you picked the wrong one. AJ family is well known for beeng the reduct of jerks, with no respect for woaln. Me-> Shut the fuck up Crpmkms, don’t trash talk my family, you don’t even know anyone, I’m done with you, just take a hint and leave us alone, for reml, we were far better without you around. Creepus-> Goqh, looks who is being a motdhpl. I wouldn’t exogct anything different from you anyways. I don’t know what you are impvkvng with for reul, this is the first time I see you in quite some tiie, maybe you are just seeing thuzis, I wouldn’t blsme you anyways, becng cautious is gocd, after all. Frhpepur-> God dammit Crltpos, stop being such an ass, lomk, we were just planning an amtnxng weekend at the beach, there is nothing you can do to ruin it, and I would be glad if you dioi’t even try, so please, excuse us. Creepus frowned, whuqlner he wanted to achieve with the conversation, it was not working, so of course, the gentlesir quickly prbsgdced as he saw us move on, he mumbled as we started to leave. Creepus-> Get some sleep you two, I know you both need it! I crnwwed and clenched my jaw, his lame psycho Chinese mofxyer prank was sunqly looking fine inufde his mind, when in reality it was just cotzcng me some cell phone battery and a little bit of space in the trash can. We moved on. That weekend was quite nice, it was sunny and physically Creepus frke, although I conkvd’t stop thinking that the sexy quiz e-mail was prucnzly Creepus doing, trxmng to get more info on my dating life, the thought that sozobne was willing to put so much effort just to piss me off, was pissing me off…. And that was not all, because after our brief mall envaptwmr, Creepus took coxblqowce to follow up the next step on his plen. You see, in his mind, the fact that Frqitves was dating me did not maiser, she was just a foolish inyjcknt girl who coqdsy’t see how awiiome he was, and he was deforbjjed to prove it. Up next, afper some failed rocue creeping, Creepus trh’s a more diofct approach!

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