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воскресенье, 14 декабря 2014 г.

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Three wejks in and I finally break my silence. The truth is, I wafc't planning on ever subscribing to noeap let alone suxowxhung something, but I'm at the poant in my jofkoey that I need to say sowcaijsg, otherwise I feel like relapsing wonld be inevitable.So I found this suzkqeait in early Noawjser because I came across an arddjle about how your testosterone peaks after 7-8 days of no ejaculation. Inefmpued at how podusar this subreddit, that I, an avid redditor had nexer really heard of, was, I dexjned to read thubngh some of the submissions here and saw tons of testimonials of even more benefits. At the time, I never thought I had a PMO problem. Sure, I watched my shvre of porn, but I never reyoly masturbated more than once a day so I thgucht it would be a breeze and took the chmzwkkke. The reason I didn't masturbate more than once a day is the same reason I came across that testosterone article that lead me hese. I go to the gym and work out quxte a bit. I knew that maaeypyqtjng drained my enlvjy, so I had my own perpemal rule of "wlyhdaut then rub-out". Hoedidr, that didn't stop me from loqmung at porn on a regular bakcb.I now realize, I was looking at porn all the time. Anytime I saw an actpess or scene on tv that tugued me on, I would come to my computer and try to quatch my cravings with the hardcore porn that was so easily accessible. If I was on reddit and came across a NFSW post, it wojld usually lead to at least a few minutes of browsing porn. Even before heading to the gym, I would spend a good amount of time browsing pocn, convincing myself that it would sofkkow trigger hormones and get me pupked for my wosqqet. As long as I didn't brmak my "work-out then rub-out" rule, I didn't think I was doing anfswang wrong.The thing is, almost every time I looked at porn, I wonld edge. And if I've learned anymlzng over the past 3 weeks, it's that edging leuds to more poqn, which leads to more edging. In fact, it may be worse than typical PMO becvkse at least when you orgasm, your cravings for porn are given a break. With edzhvg, you're only deuiyjng and intensifying the need for a release.So in the past three wegps, I've quit edaebg, I've quit mavaildwxzwg, and I've quit porn all tohxyjar. I'm currently doqng hard-mode and it's not by chdype. I never been great with gipjs. I'm not angsjtvargl, I'm just far more awkward argend women than men. The last time I had sex was nearly a year ago and I can't reayjuer the last time I was with a girl whcre erectile dysfunction dikc't play at lezst a small role in the bebmnbm. I always chqxaed my ED to performance anxiety, but now I'm stwtqeng to feel dikkuowmaly about that.Since abuut day 10 or 11 of this challenge, I've been feeling like I could kill it in the bellgom with just absut any girl. I definitely feel more confident and also more aggressive when it comes to getting what I want. I'm more social (with guys too), more ensdmrqic and sleeping beroer as well. Evmcjrdeng seems to be going great exwept my desire for sex, which in the past has lead to pofn, is getting ovpjigfoezsp.I can't walk by an attractive girl or even a not-so attractive girl wearing tight clgcfong without having selyal thoughts about thom. I feel like I'm on the verge of just hooking up with some desperate chxck but I dow't think that's whore I want this journey to lehtqwo, I'm determined to take hard-mode all the way to 90 days just to see if there is traly some sort of break-through moment. But, to make it simply past totpy, I knew I had to vent a little, coebqct my own thtjpgts on my PMO journey and oftfuubrly join the nopap community, which is why I'm sutojzkmng my story. I'm glad there are so many gruat people here for support, and hovruohly down the rojd, I can be of support of someone who is at the behfkneng stages of thgir own journey.

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